What Slush Pile Readers Look For In A Story

Yesterday I read a fascinating article written by Ferrett Steinmetz, an accomplished author and slush pile reader, about what he looks for in a story.

Slush Pile Readers Want To Love Your Story

Some of what Steinmetz wrote surprised me. For instance, that readers of slush want to fall in love with your story. He writes:

As we lay our eyes upon the first sentence of your epic tale, we are filled with the hope that you—yes, you!—will win the Nebula for this very story.

What you as a writer must understand is that our Hope-O-Meter starts topped off—but as we encounter each bit of bad writing in your story, our Hope-O-Meter drops.

There are many things that can cause a slush pile reader's Hope-O-Meter to drop but it all comes down to this: The reader doesn't care about what's happening.

Steinmetz writes that this lack of caring usually comes from one of three things:

• Who is this character we’re expected to follow along until the end of the story?
• What is s/he doing, and why is s/he doing it?
• Why should we care about this particular action?

If we don’t know all three of those soon, then generally speaking we’re going to lose interest.  (Great writers can break any rule, of course… but if you’re a great writer, then why are you still in our slush pile?)

The Secret: How To Get Your Short Story Accepted

Steinmetz writes:

So what you’re doubtlessly asking by now is, “How can I keep that Hope-O-Meter filled all the way up?”  And the answer is, “Get me to care about your characters, quickly and efficiently.”

And now for the 64 million dollar question: HOW does a writer get a reader to care about their characters?

Steinmetz's answer:

A writer gets a reader to care about their characters by answering the right questions.

To illustrate this, Steinmetz gives examples from actual slush that didn't make it:

1. Who is your protagonist?

Jason’s hand trembled as he crouched in the bush and aimed at the slaver on the rooftop. The slavers had come to Juniper County to put anyone they could find in shackles, so now Jason had no choice: he had to shoot.

The slaver turned, his eyes going wide as he saw Jason. Jason pulled the trigger; the slaver’s head burst open.

Swallowing back nausea, terrified that someone had heard, he ran for cover…

The flaw here, Steinmetz writes, is that we don't know who Jason is.

- If slavers came to their home town, most people would shoot at them, so this doesn't tell us a whole lot about Jason.
- Jason is nauseous and nervous so that might indicate he's inexperienced but it could also just be that he's afraid of being caught.

What we needed to know about Jason:

a. Who or what he is fighting for. Does he have a family that he's trying to protect? (This covers two things: character and motivation.)

b. How experienced of a fighter is he? Is he an able hunter or a clueless accountant?

c. What are his ultimate goals? Does he want to escape the town? Drive the invaders out? Rescue his family? His friends?

Further, the reader needs to know the answer to these three questions in the first three paragraphs.

2. What is your protagonist's goal?

Here's an example of a passage that nails the "who" but falls short when it comes to "what":

At six o’clock on the dot, Damien clicked off his computer and stacked his unfinished paperwork neatly in his in-tray. The desk had become untidy over the course of the day, so he lined everything up geometrically; the desk blotter perfectly parallel with the keyboard, the monitor at a forty-five degree angle.

He made his way to the elevator, observing a spot on his shiny leather shoes. He unfolded a handkerchief to buff it clean, then pressed the exact center of the button that marked the first floor.

When the elevator arrived, Damien spritzed the air with a small can of perfume, trying to neutralize the odors of stale BO and farts pent up within

Here we know the kind of person Damien is, but we don't know what motivates him and we don't know what his ultimate goal is. Steinmetz writes:

Note how this opening has no real indicators of Damien’s wants or needs, aside from a clean shoe and a fart-free elevator.  It’s a kind of weak characterization, because it does tell us what his immediate needs are without letting us know what his goals are.

However, if we know that Damien is leaving work to go to a pick-up bar to try and get a girl, then suddenly all of these mundane details take on personal shape; he’s buffing his shoes so he’ll look good, he’s spraying the elevator to avoid smelling bad for his partner.

Or, if we know he’s going to visit his dying mother in the hospital, the rituals take on an air of desperation; his mother’s illness is out of his control, but he can control his own personal space.

3. What makes the protagonist interesting?

Here's an example of a passage with bland characters:

Beatrice stirred her soup in time to the rhythm of her husband chopping wood outside. Her cousin Jack took over stirring as she went into the bedroom to check in on Cindy. As Beatrice picked her daughter up, she wriggled and grinned.

Steinmetz writes:

In this case, you have four characters in the first paragraph, none of them doing anything that makes them memorable.  Anyone can chop wood, if they need to.  Anyone can stir soup or check on a baby.

We want our protagonists to be interesting. If they're not interesting then they're boring and who wants to read about a boring character? Steinmetz writes:

Interesting characters do things that no one else would do in their circumstance; that’s why you remember them.

Also, a writer needs to make each of their characters interesting and memorable but in different ways. Otherwise characters blend into one another.

4. What is the story goal?

Usually the story goal(/story question) is the same as the protagonist's external goal.

For example, in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones' goal was to find the ark and bring it back to the university for further research and study. That was also the story question: Will Indiana Jones find the ark and bring it back to the university museum before Dr. Rene Belloq and the Nazis snatch it from him and use it to swing the tide of war their way?

However, the protagonist's goal isn't always so closely linked to the story question.

For example, in Star Wars IV: A New Hope Luke's goal is to destroy the death star and thereby save the rebel alliance. However the overarching story goal is to destroy the empire. Even when Luke succeeds in destroying the death star the empire is far from beaten since the emperor is still alive.

Steinmetz holds that it's important for readers to know both what the protagonist's goal is, and what the story question is (if they're different), from the beginning.

Here's an example of an opener where the story goal is withheld:

The work will take three months, and if done poorly, risks fatally poisoning you,” Nellie explained to the scent-engineer. “So I need to make sure your skills are up to speed.” She tightbeamed a spec over to his PDA; he whistled.

This is quite an unusual request,” murmured Paco. “Even if you granted me full access to your family’s pheromone farms, I’m not sure it could be done.” He nodded, contemplating the request. “But if so, I’m the only man who can do it.”

That’s the attitude I’m looking for,” she said, reaching out to clasp hands and seal the bio-contract.

Steinmetz writes:

A lot of writers, for some reason, think it’s more interesting to conceal the central premise of their story and then reveal it later on.  At some point around page five or six, we’re going to finally have the Big Reveal that what Nellie is looking for is an Enslavement Pheromone to turn humans into mindless ant-drones.  Mwoo hah hah!

Unfortunately, the irritation of leaving your reader in the dark is almost never as cool as your actual central concept.

5. Don't include too much description

I know, that's not a question, but Ferrett Steinmetz makes an excellent point:

[I]f a story started with, “The tendril-fields were wet and pulsing, the rose-pink tentacles reaching up to grab at the spine-birds that flew overhead,” then fine, I’d be like, that’s amazing.  Tell me more. But generic descriptions of landscape are a pace-killer.

6. Show don't tell

Steinmetz writes:

Thing is, there’s a big difference between “he’s insane” and “he thinks bugs crawl into his ear whenever he talks on his cell phone.”  There’s a big difference between “He’s in love” and “Every time he fills up at the gas station, he buys a single flower for his wife and leaves it on her pillow.”  There’s a big difference between “exhilaration” and “The story you spent three months agonizing over just found a home at Shimmer.”

Stories are about concrete details.  If you write about emotions as though they’re just these abstracted principles, then your story lacks all power.  When you write about characters feeling stuff, get as gritty as you can; it’ll make them more unique and pay off, and it won’t make us slush editors go, “Oh, yes, another story written by a madman who doesn’t actually sound all that insane.”

Great examples and excellent advice. The epitome of something simple to understand but not easily done.

I encourage you to read the rest of Steinmetz's essay here: Confessions of a Slush Reader: Why Should I care?

Other articles you might like:

- Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction Challenge: Choose Your Opening Line
- Short Story Structures: Several Ways Of Structuring Short Fiction
- Alexa.com: Find Out How Much Traffic Your Blog Gets

Photo credit: "recession" by Robert S. Donovan under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction Challenge: Choose Your Opening Line

I love Chuck Wendig's flash fiction challenges!

While I haven't succeeded in writing a 1,000 word short story that I could enter, I have succeeded in writing a 5,000 word short story which is something I've been trying to do for a while. Before that they ended up being over 10,000 words and heading into novella territory.

This particular challenge has my muse all perked up and ready to go.

The Challenge

Choose one of the following and make it the first sentence of your story:

1. Once James accepted that he had no choice but to burn the books, the question became which to burn first. — Valerie Valdes

2. Prima donnas aren’t born.
 — Mari Bayo

3. The ghost of a sparrow flitted through one wall and out the other.
 — CJ Eggett

4. I was born beneath a black veil of mourning, a dark bud blooming deep in its shadow. — 
Gina Herron

5. It’s always midnight somewhere.  – Andrew Jack

6. My brother’s birth was preceded by three distinct and inexplicable phenomena. — Jason Heitkamper

7. Max sat amongst the dead, whistling to himself.  – Brad

8. For the second time in a week, I come over Shatter Hill at midnight and see fire at the crossroad below.  – Bill Cameron

9. I never trusted that statue in the garden behind the house.
 — Cat York

10. Larry was on the toilet, shitting his brains out, while cleaning his gat.
  – The Philosophunculist

11. The problem with the ringing phone wasn’t how loud it was, or that it hadn’t stopped ringing for an hour, but that Tom didn’t have a phone. — Jake Bible

12. When the last cherry blossom falls, so will my axe.
  – Delilah

13. “You must walk three paces behind me,” she said. “And never raise your eyes to mine.” — Nathan Long

14. Tommy beat him with a kiss, and the crowd hated him for it. — Hector Acosta

Each of the 14 sentences, above, were chosen from over 400 comments left by contributors on Chuck Wendig's blog post last week: Flash Fiction Challenge: The Kick-Ass Opening Line.

Chuck picked three lucky winners who will receive a pre-order of his book Blue Blazes.

The Winners: Chuck Wendig's Picks

3. The ghost of a sparrow flitted through one wall and out the other.
 — CJ Eggett

13. "You must walk three paces behind me,” she said. “And never raise your eyes to mine.” — Nathan Long

12. When the last cherry blossom falls, so will my axe.
 – Delilah

Great choices! Here are my favorites:

9. I never trusted that statue in the garden behind the house.
 — Cat York

11. The problem with the ringing phone wasn’t how loud it was, or that it hadn’t stopped ringing for an hour, but that Tom didn’t have a phone. — Jake Bible

5. It’s always midnight somewhere. – Andrew Jack

All 14 first sentences were creative and contained effective 'hooks' (for more on what makes an effective hook: here and here).

Chuck Wendig's Prize This Week

Although Chuck Wendig is sending Jake, Delilah and Nathan copies of Blue Blazes, he hasn't finished giving stuff away. He writes:

The goal is simple:

To write a story using one of the opening lines above. You can choose from the whole lot — not just the three “winners.” Any of the opening lines you find on this page (again, I think I’ve listed 14 of ‘em) are open game. Choose your opening line and write a piece of flash fiction (up to 1000 words) with that line as the opener. Post it at your online space, link back here.

I’ll choose one person’s story — just one! — to win autographed copies of my books Blackbirds, Mockingbird, and Gods & Monsters. This is open only to US residents (international are welcome to play, but the best prize I can offer you is e-copies of my writing books).

Maybe this will be the week I'll get my story under 1,000 words! (fingers crossed)

Remember: To enter the contest, post your story on your blog then leave a comment, with a link to your story, on Chuck Wendig's blog post.

Question: Which three opening lines (of the 14, above) are your favorite?

Other articles you might like:

- Is Writing Rewriting?
- PubIt! Rebranded as NOOK Press
- Every Buffy Needs A Xander: What Makes A Great Sidekick

Photo credit: "chess" by nestor galina under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Is Writing Rewriting?

Rewriting Is Not Writing

We often hear the saying, "Writing is rewriting."

Dean Wesley Smith disagrees, he does not believe that rewriting can make a story better. Dean writes:

In the early stages you are better off just trusting your natural instincts, your natural voice, write on the creative side, and then just let it go to an editor. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

That advice may seem radical--and it's certainly not heard often--but one could argue (as Dean does) that it's really a different way of saying what Robert A. Heinlein said in his rules:

1. You must write.
2. Finish what you start.
3. You must refrain from rewriting, except to editorial order.
4. You must put your story on the market.
5. Keep your story on the market until it sells.

Creative Mode vs Critical Mode

Ever since I first read Dean Wesley Smith's views on rewriting, that was some time ago, one thing that didn't sit right with me was the idea that rewriting couldn't improve a story.

For instance, I remember getting feedback on one of my first novels; specifically, that the pacing in the first quarter of the book was off. It didn't take me long, a couple of hours, and I fixed the problem. I sent the book out again to my readers and they agreed it was much better.

But I think, now, I might understand what Dean's saying.

When I made those changes to my novel I was still in creative mode. Dean writes:

Creative voice is the white-hot heat you feel when creating. Sometimes, granted, it burns like an ember and it doesn’t feel so hot, other times it is a rushing fire of words. But the words always come out of the creative side of your brain. That is the key, learning how to stay completely, no matter what method you use, in the creative side of your brain.

Long-term professional writers like me can turn the creative voice on instantly. I call it a “switch on my butt.” When I sit down in front of my writing computer (different from my e-mail computer) I automatically just drop into creative mindset. It takes time to train that switch, but after millions and millions of words, it becomes automatic.

The critical side of your brain is where your English teacher lives, where that awful book by Strunk and White lives, where your workshop and all their voices lives. The critical side of your brain wants you to write safe stuff, wants it to not offend anyone or go outside of any rule. The critical side of your head thinks your own voice is dull and will always work to take it out.

No professional writer I have ever met writes quality fiction out of their critical side. No matter how many drafts they do. All drafts are done in creative voice except for the last draft of fixing mistakes found by a first reader.

My readers had shown me a place where the story wasn't communicated to my readers. So I didn't change the story, I just improved the transmission of the story.

Recently I wrote a short story, wrote it fast--it was like a creative gale was blowing through me, sandblasting the words onto paper. Afterward I gave it to my first reader and he pointed out a few things that were extraneous to the story as well as a couple of places I hadn't been clear. I took the story back, worked on it for a couple of hours, and it was done.

I have the feeling that particular story won't be universally liked--it's just not that kind of story--but it's done. I've communicated the story. If I started rewriting it the freshness of the passion I had, the passion that I think is evident in the language, would seep away.

That said, if there is a detail or two my readers would like put in, an explanation of how something came about, that sort of thing, I'm game.

I want to be clear that I'm not saying a manuscript can be sent out with incorrect spelling and bad grammar. Far from it! But I think Dean's right. We learn most from writing, not rewriting.

Question: What do you think? Does rewriting lie at the heart of the craft or does it bleed out all that is unique/creative/original?

Other articles you might like:

- PubIt! Rebranded as NOOK Press
- Short Story Structures: Several Ways Of Structuring Short Fiction
- Every Buffy Needs A Xander: What Makes A Great Sidekick

Photo credit: "Just THINK : ABOUT IT : Just write a title, YOUR thoughts....ENJOY! :)" by || UggBoy♥UggGirl || PHOTO || WORLD || TRAVEL || under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

PubIt! Rebranded as NOOK Press

PubIt! Is Now NOOK Press

Update (April 12, 2013): This is from David Gaughran:

Barnes & Noble re-launched PubIt! this week as Nook Press, a largely superficial makeover which failed to address some fundamental problems, like restricting access to US self-publishers only, and introduced new howler: updating existing titles causes the loss of all ranking, reviews, and momentum.

That's a huge bug! To find out more: Self-Publishing Grabs Huge Market Share From Traditional Publishers.

My original article:

Barnes & Noble PubIt! Platform has been rebranded at NOOK Press.

Lit Reactor's Dean Fetzer writes that author numbers have gone up by 20%, and titles by 25%, from the previous quarter.

Wow! That's quite an increase.

But it's not just a change of name. Improvements include:

Ebook creation and distribution
Live chat support
A light mode for authors who want to try out the tools before committing to anything
Collaborative tools for workshopping
Sales dashboard (PubIt! Replaced by NOOK Press)

Barnes & Noble have also made a change in their royalty structure. They now give authors a 40% royalty on all books priced below $2.99. Amazon only offers 35%.

However Barnes & Noble lags behind Amazon in other ways, only offering 65% royalties on books priced between $2.99 and $9.99. Amazon offers 70%.

Many New Users Have Had Trouble Registering At NOOK Press

Dean Fetzer warns that new users of NOOK Press had some problems registering.

Question: Have you published through NOOK Press? What was your experience like?

 Other articles you might like:

- Every Buffy Needs A Xander: What Makes A Great Sidekick
- Writing Trilogies & Keeping Track Of Characters
- Help Raise Money For David Farland's Injured Son, Ben Wolverton, On Wed April 10

Photo link: "Bookstore" by ReneS under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Every Buffy Needs A Xander: What Makes A Great Sidekick

Xander: Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into a spider eating man bitch?
Buffy: He's gone.
Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!
Buffy: Check. No more butt monkey.

- Buffy, Season 5: Buffy vs. Dracula

When to give your protagonist a sidekick

Liz Bureman writes that:

A sidekick is often useful when a protagonist is difficult to get to know from an audience perspective. Since the sidekick is often implied to know the hero better than anyone else in the story, there is often an emotional connection between the reader and the sidekick, and that connection combined with the friendship with the hero informs the audience’s opinion of the hero. (How to Kick Your Story Up a Notch With a Sidekick)

For instance, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock would be very difficult to get to know, and even harder to like, without Watson. It's not easy to identify with someone super-humanly intelligent who views regular people as the intellectual peers of aardvarks. And as for who he'd rather spend time with ... well, the aardvarks win, hands down.

Liz Bureman's discussion of sidekicks whet my interest so I headed over to tvtropes.org, a truly wonderful site that will make hours of your life vanish before you can say "I never knew there was a trope for that!"

Here's a few of the things they had to say:

What Makes A Great Sidekick

Sidekick as foil: Opposing traits

I didn't know the origin for the idea of the foil until I looked it up on tvtropes.org:

Jewelers often put shiny metal foil underneath a gem to make the stone shine brighter. A literary foil is someone who highlights another character's trait, usually by contrast, but sometimes by competing with him, hanging a lampshade, making snarky remarks, or egging him on.

Sidekicks often serve as foils to the hero by being something the hero himself is not (a calm and pragmatic sidekick when the hero is hotheaded, for example). In the classic good-guy versus bad guy scenario, both the hero and villain can each be considered the other's foil, in that each acts to show how the other behaves in certain situations. (Foil)

So the sidekick as foil highlights the hero's qualities by counterbalancing them.

Just as Sherlock Holmes is insanely intelligent, so Watson is thoroughly ordinary and yet he has more common sense than Holmes will ever possess.

Further:

[T]he foil is a recurring character that has a personality, or an opinion of things, that is different from another recurring character. This character can be the opposite of the character in many ways — or perhaps very, very, very similar, except for a crucial difference.

Many intentional foils are depicted as physical contrasts to the main character. Thin vs. fat and tall vs. short are among the most common ways of setting up a contrast. Similarly, when the hero's Love Interest is blonde, the villainess tends to have dark or red hair; when the villainess is blond, the hero's Love Interest tends to be dark or red haired. (Foil)

Even the sidekicks physical appearance is different--opposite--that of the hero's.

Sidekicks further the plot

Sidekicks have problems and they know people who have problems. This allows your protagonist to be anti-social and still get involved in the messy business of helping ordinary people fix what has gone wrong in their lives.

Also, a sidekick provides someone for the hero to explain things to. Since the sidekick often doesn't have the hero's mental faculties he/she often has to explain what's going on to his/her slower, less observant, partner/helper.

Sidekicks are usually younger than the hero

This came as a surprise but it makes sense.

Because we expect an older character to have more experience, a sidekick older than the main hero is a rare thing. (Older Sidekick)

A sidekick is, in some ways, like an apprentice, they are being taught by the hero, and we naturally think of a student as being younger than their teacher.

To read more about sidekicks, foils, evil minions and heroes, head on over to tvtropes.org/sidekick.

Question: Have you used a sidekick in one of your stories?

Other articles you might like:

- Writing Trilogies & Keeping Track Of Characters
- Help Raise Money For David Farland's Injured Son, Ben Wolverton, On Wed April 10
- When Should You Send Your Short Story Out For Critique?

Writing Trilogies & Keeping Track Of Characters

Last year I attended a workshop taught by Anne Perry and I worked up the courage to ask her something I'd been wondering for years: how she keeps track of all her characters across her many series.

Her answer: I remember them.

This is a post for those of us without Anne Perry's prodigious memory.

Laura Moore On How To Write A Successful Trilogy

Author Laura Moore offers writers tips on writing a successful trilogy.

Plan and plot like there's no tomorrow

This advice may lead you to think Laura's a born plotter but not so. Then why does she use a detailed outline? Because she wants to write her books quickly. She writes:

It ... helps if you can already have the first book in your series finished and have started the second when you make your deal with your publisher. ... Obviously, if you’re going to self-publish your series, you have far more autonomy. You can hold back on the first book’s publication until you’re satisfied you can meet your readers’ demands for the next titles.

Make lists of characters

Make a list of characters for each book in the series. Each list should include the character's:

- name
- age
- physical traits
- where he/she lives
- quirks

Laura writes:

It’s fairly easy to keep the characters straight in a four hundred-page [novel]. But a series can contain so many secondary characters, it can be a real headache to remember who a cowboy or shop owner was that you mentioned in Book One when you’re now on Book Three. Since I write a lot about horses, I also have a file for them. You don’t want a character riding a horse in book two that’s a palomino when in the first book he was black with four white stockings. I can only imagine the detailed lists an author like George Martin has to keep!

 

Tags And Traits

Laura Moore's mention of character lists made me think of Jim Butcher and his excellent discussion of tags and traits (I know he's not the first one to discuss this, Dwight Swain did as well).

TAGS are words you hang upon your character when you describe them. When you're putting things together, for each character, pick a word or two or three to use in describing them. Then, every so often, hit on one of those words in reference to them, and avoid using them elsewhere when possible. By doing this, you'll be creating a psychological link between those words and that strong entry image of your character.

For example; Thomas Raith's tag words are pale, beautiful, dark hair, grey eyes. I use them when I introduce him for the first time in each book, and then whenever he shows up on stage again, I remind the reader of who he is by using one or more of those words.

This is a really subtle psychological device, and it is far more powerful than it first seems. It's invaluable for both you as the writer, and for the construction of the virtual story for the reader.

TRAITS are like tags, except that instead of picking specific words, you pick a number of unique things ranging from a trademark prop to a specific mental attitude. Harry's traits include his black duster, his staff, his blasting rod and his pentacle amulet. These things are decorations hung onto the character for the reader's benefit, so that it's easy to imagine Harry when the story pace is really rolling.

Similarly, Bob the Skull's traits are the skull, its eyelights, his intelligence, his role as a lab assistant, his obsession with sex and his wiseass dialog. It works for the same reason.

Seriously. Before you introduce another character, write some tags and traits down. You'll be surprised how much easier it makes your job. (Jim Butcher, Livejournal)

Question: How do you keep track of your characters? Do you use tags and traits?

Other articles you might like:

- Help Raise Money For David Farland's Injured Son, Ben Wolverton, On Wed April 10
- When Should You Send Your Short Story Out For Critique?
- Alexa.com: Find Out How Much Traffic Your Blog Gets

Photo credit: "Taxi" by Bruno. C. under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Help Raise Money For David Farland's Injured Son, Ben Wolverton, On Wed April 10

Help Ben Wolverton

Many of you know David Farland, both through his many books and his wonderful blog David Farland's Writing Tips.

David's son, Ben Wolverton, has been critically injured and is without health insurance. Ben's family released the following information:

Ben Wolverton, age 16, was in a serious long-boarding accident on Wednesday the 4th, 2013. He suffers from severe brain trauma, a cracked skull, broken pelvis and tail bone, burnt knees, bruised lungs, broken ear drum, road rash, and is currently in a coma. His family has no insurance.

The picture at the top of this post is of Ben Wolverton in happier times. Here's a picture of Ben now:

How We Can Help: Wednesday's Book Bomb

A 'book bomb' occurs when a bunch of people purchase a book on the same day in the name of a good cause. On Wednesday, April 10th, Ben's family is putting on a book bomb to raise money to pay for his medical treatment, click here for details.

To learn more about Ben’s condition, or simply donate to the Wolverton family, click here: http://www.gofundme.com/BensRecovery.

Also, a website has been set up for Ben (http://www.helpwolverton.com/) and will be updated with the latest on his medical condition as well as provide a way to make donations to help fund his recovery.

Resource links:

- For updates on Ben Wolverton's condition as well as information how to donate: Help Ben Wolverton.
- Information about Wednesday's Book Bomb: Books for the Book Bomb.
- gofundme.com/bensrecovery.

When Should You Send Your Short Story Out For Critique?

In her blog post today, Jody Hedlund brought up an important issue, one I've been thinking a lot about lately: critiques.

I don't mean what critiques are or how to write one but about when, in the life of a project, we should send our 'word babies' out into the, potentially hostile, world?

When Should You Send Your Short Story Out To Beta Readers?

After the first draft? The second? The third? Should we let others read our stories while they're still in development or wait until we've ironed the kinks out, as it were, and are (we think) ready for a larger audience?

Every writer is different, has different requirements, different expectations, different vulnerabilities, so what works for me might not work for you and vice versa.

That said, here's my take on it.

I like to involve beta readers at an early stage because they have something I almost completely lack: objectivity.

My process for a short story

1. Write the first draft

2. Read over the first draft and do another couple of drafts.
- Check the draft for grammar and spelling mistakes.

3. Give the first draft to a trusted beta reader, someone who has read my work before and given me valuable feedback.
- Wait patiently for him to read my story. 
- Receive the feedback.
- Ask questions only for the purpose of clarifying the feedback. Never defend. Never explain.

4. Give myself time to think about what my beta reader said. Decide how I'm going to incorporate the feedback into my draft.

5. Write another draft, one that incorporates some of the feedback just received.

6. If my beta reader is up for it, I give the revised draft back to the same reader and ask for his feedback on the changes.

7. Depending on the feedback, I may go through this process a few more times.

8. After I feel I've ironed out most of the bugs using this process I give the story to my other beta readers for feedback. 

9. I accept the feedback, change the story where I think it needs it, and give it back to any of my beta-readers that are up for it. I repeat this process till the story seems as good as it's going to get.

That's it.

Let me put on my business hat for a moment.

I'm an independent publisher/author/writer so that means I want my stories to sell. Reviews help my stories sell. And even though a one star review is preferable to no review, I'd prefer to minimize them. (Every writer who does this for a living will get a one star review at some point. Like death and taxes, it's inevitable.)

So. To maximize sales and minimize authorial angst I like to get as many eyes on my manuscript prerelease as I can.

Now let me take off my business hat and put on my scuffed and worn writer hat.

What are stories?

Stories don't live on paper. Like dinosaur bones, they reside deep in our conceptual earth or, like stars, exit 'out there' in a conceptual sky.

We put bits and pieces of them down on paper, sometimes doing funky things with flashback sequences, but the stories themselves exist without us, though they do need us to dig down, find them, and reveal them to the world--or at least to the world of our readers, those wonderful people who make our creative madness possible.

Here's why I need beta readers:

When I read one of my stories my eyes are still on the stars and I don't see the words. I don't know if what I've written will be adequate to communicate what I saw.

Over time the vision will fade and I'll lose a bit of the shocking immediacy that blurred my sight. I'll then be able to read one of my stories and see how the language flows--or doesn't, as the case may be. I will then be able to see the vessel (the words, the language) and not just the thing itself.

I hope that doesn't sound too 'artsy'; I think we each have our own mythology about where our stories come from, each as true as the other.

When I write, I try to use words that will evoke the story I'm discovering within myself. I try to write something that will evoke that thing, that story, that experience, in another.

The only way I can know if I've done that is to get other people, lots of other people, to read my scribblings and tell me what they 'saw', what they experienced.

Then I tweek my words so the story I uncovered within me is the same thing they connect with within themselves.

Or something like that.

I look at critiques both these ways, sometimes with my business hat on, sometimes with my writer hat. What I say about critiques, and about why they are important, depends on which hat I'm wearing, which perspective I'm seeing the issue from.

I hope that makes some sense! (grin)

Nasty Critiques

Some of you may be worried about having your manuscript brutalized by a reviewer/reader/critiquer having a bad day, or otherwise out for blood.

I wish I could say it'll never happen, but it will. Just like getting a one star review is inevitable, having some clod do a vivisection of both your and your story is like a right of passage.

It changes you, but you survive to write another day.

I remember the first time my work was brutalized. It was the first notes/critique I received on a particular manuscript so I was crushed. I cried, I felt like crap. I figured if this was one so bad, what were the rest of the critiques going to be like? But I did one good thing: I didn't respond and just waited.

It turned out the other folks liked the manuscript, though (as expected) they pointed out a few places where it needed work.

My point is that when you get a hateful review know that person isn't responding to you, they aren't even responding to your work, they are either having a bad day and using the opportunity to vent or are the sort of person who thinks belittling others is fun.

Whatever the case, ignore the critique. Stop reading, set it aside.

I think I'll always be affected by nasty critiques, but you learn to shrug it off and move on.

The only time the bully wins is if you stop.

Never stop writing.

Question: When do you send your story out for critique? What is your process?

Other articles you might like:

- Alexa.com: Find Out How Much Traffic Your Blog Gets
- Using Language To Evoke Emotion
- How To Create And Maintain The Habit Of Writing

Photo credit: "143/365 Come Sail Away With Me" by martinak15 under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Alexa.com: Find Out How Much Traffic Your Blog Gets

A question which is careening around the blogosphere is whether writers, especially new writers, should blog.

That's not what this post is about. This post is about how to determine how much traffic your blog gets.

Why should you care about how much traffic your blog gets?

You might not. If you write solely for personal edification, or as part of your writing routine, then how much traffic your blog gets is irrelevant.

On the other hand, if you're thinking about using your blog as part of your writing platform then it may help to know.

You might also wonder if having a blog at all is the best use of your time; perhaps you'd be better off devoting your spare time to Facebook or Twitter. By comparing your blog's traffic to the blogs of other writers you can get a feel for what you'd like your goals to be.

Alexa.com

Alexa.com allows you to see how much traffic your site gets relative to other sites.

For instance, the most popular site on the internet is Google, the second is Yahoo. There are over 300 million website in the world so if your world Alexa ranking is 3 million or less you're in the top 1%! congrats!

So, for instance, Copyblogger.com has very high traffic. Don't feel at all intimidated by not having these numbers. If you're only one person blogging and you have a limited budget there's no way you'll ever see anything close to that kind of traffic.

Two of the most popular blogs on writing are Joe Konrath's and Jane Friedman's. Still, though, their numbers are insanely high and they've been blogging for years.

Find your alexa.com traffic rank

In order to find out your Alexa.com traffic rank go to Alexa.com and enter your domain name (for example, mydomain.com). If the blog is indexed you'll get two numbers, your worldwide Alexa traffic rank and your US traffic rank. You'll also be told how many websites link to your own.

If you click the link embedded in your domain name you'll be given a more detailed analysis based on data from the last three months.

Things to remember

- When it comes to your traffic rank, the lower the number the better.
- If your global traffic rank is 3,000,000 or lower, you're in the top 1% of blogs.
- Go here and enter your domain name to find your traffic ranking. After you've done that, press "Get Details" for a more detailed analysis.

What do you think of Alexa.com? Were you surprised by your Alexa traffic rank? Are you glad you know?

Other articles you might like:

- Using Language To Evoke Emotion
- C.J. Lyons Discusses Whether Amazon KDP Select Is Worth The Price Of Exclusivity
- Short Story Structures: Several Ways Of Structuring Short Fiction

Photo credit: "The Decisive Moment..." by Thomas Leuthard under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.

Using Language To Evoke Emotion

Today Janice Hardy published a terrific post about how to evoke emotion: How to Set Tone and Mood in Your Scenes.

Janice gives us two rules of thumb:

1. Avoid generic words
2. Show don't tell

Avoid generic words

Generic words, even though accurate, can fail to elicit emotion in your readers because they apply to any situation.

We want words that are specific because, in general, the more specific they are the less familiar they are. The unfamiliar makes us curious.

Show don't tell

Which of the following is more interesting?

a) The man walked through the dangerous courtyard.
b) The man, hands shaking, picked his way through the courtyard littered with unexploded mines.

Or even: "The novice, hands shaking ...." 'The novice' is more descriptive because it's less generic than 'the man.'

Bob's Dangerous Trek

Janice Hardy gives an example of how to transform a passage of lackluster prose into something that has the ability to reach out and emotionally move readers.

Example 1: Dull, unmoving, prose

Bob walked across the courtyard, nervously looking over his shoulder at every noise. He knew someone was back there, he could feel it in the twisting pit of his stomach. 

That's actually not bad. I don't think Janice Hardy can bring herself to write truly lackluster prose! But it's still a good example. We see that Bob is nervous but we're not feeling afraid for him, we're not on the edge of our seat, fingers digging into the armrests, holding our breath, afraid that something tragic is going to happen to Bob.

What's the problem?

Janice writes, "the word choices here tell more than they show, and they aren't very specific."

Example 2: Better but not best

Bob crept across the courtyard, glancing over his shoulder every few steps. Someone was back there. The twisting pit in his stomach was never wrong.

Now Bob creeps instead of walks, he glances instead of "nervously looking." Also we're out of Bob's head. Instead of being told that Bob knew someone was back there, we're simply told someone is back there.

Example 3: The best

Bob slowed. Sunlight filled the courtyard ahead, chasing away the shadows and exposing every potential piece of cover. No way anyone could hide out there, but that applied to him as well as whoever was behind him. If anyone was. Crap.

Much, much, better. Right?

Janice Hardy talks about the changes she made to produce this effect, as well as about the improvements that were made at each iteration of Bob's Dangerous Trek, but what struck me right off was that the improvements to Example 3 aren't just improvements in prose but also about improvements in storytelling.

In the third example we see through Bob's eyes in a way we didn't before.

- We see where he is about to travel (the sunlight filled courtyard).
- We see the danger (sunlight chased away the shadows exposing every potential piece of cover Bob could have used to conceal himself from his pursuer)
- We understand the implication (Bob is in danger from his pursuer)
- We know that Bob knows the danger and more-or-less how he feels about it: "Crap."

Janice Hardy sums it up

How you choose to describe something and what you have your point of view character notice sets the tone of the scene. Generic words that apply to any situation do little to create a mood. Common or clichéd words and imagery give the sense that readers have seen this before, so they know how it's likely to play out. Even if you do surprise them with what happens, odds are the anticipation of that surprise was lacking, so you miss out on the emotional punch. 

The goal is to keep your readers guessing what's going to happen next so they won't be able to put down the book until they finish it.

Examples Of Books Readers Can't Put Down

In his latest post, Romance Me, Baby, Chuck Wendig asks his readers to recommend romance and erotica books. One of his commentators wrote that she and her friends read the first of J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series as a joke then got hooked. She confesses that when she bought Ward's latest release in the series she didn't sleep till she read the entire thing--in under 24 hours! Another commentator replied that she had done the same thing.

Both comments are on the first page of Chuck's post, I tried to link directly to them but couldn't.

I mention Ward's books here because I've read the first few of Ward's series and they do have the can't-put-it-down quality many writers strive for. Here is a link to the first few pages of the first book in the series, Dream Lover.

I mention Ward's series not because I want to turn you into a Black Dagger Brotherhood addict (though that wouldn't be a bad thing!) but because I think her writing is a great example of emotionally evocative prose.

And JR Ward's work is marvelous anecdotal evidence that evocative prose sells like hotcakes! Dark Lover was published September 6, 2005 by Penguin Publishing and the Kindle version, priced at over $10, is sitting at #902 in the paid Kindle store. That's better than most books do when they're first released!

Question: Have you ever been unable to put a book down until you finished it? I know sometimes we don't want to admit which books have had this effect on us, but I was like this when I read the first book in Laurell Hamilton's Anita Blake series, Guilty Pleasures.

Other articles you might like:

- How To Create And Maintain The Habit Of Writing
- How To Not Write Crap
- Writing Scenes: Getting Up Close And Personal; Using Sensory Language

Photo credit: "habit | 1 july" by cloth.paper.string | sarah under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0.