A must read: 12 Most Quirky Commencement Quotes

In the middle of writing I decided to check my email -- never do that, by the way, it greatly reduces ones productivity -- and came across one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time: 12 Most Quirky Commencement Quotes.

Here's my favorite:

3. Stephen Colbert to his alma mater Northwestern University in June 2011

In 1986, our commencement speaker was “George Schultz,” secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me — basic cable’s second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say “congratulations.”

Read the rest of the article here: 12 Most Quirky Commencement Quotes.

Writer Beware: Undead Press & Editing Clauses

Edited: June 23, 2021:

Hi, I just received this comment:

"Hey, it seems that actually refers to something about our domain name from 2012.. Way before we bought this domain name, that is not related to us in any way. We bought the domain a few months back. Somehow this ended up as a comment about our site on Facebook now."

I don't want to remove this post because I think history is important. However, (and I haven't researched the claim being made) I see no reason not to believe that the domain name has been sold. Please do keep this in mind when deciding whether to submit your work to Undead Press. And, please, ALWAYS read the terms of service of any publishing company before you submit your work to them.  Here is a link to the Terms and Conditions of Undead Press.

Here is the original post: 

Imagine getting your work accepted for publication, waiting on pins and needles for your copy of the work to arrive, ripping open the package, and finding it had been substantially altered without your permission. Mandy DeGeit sent her short story to Undead Press, it was accepted, but on publication not only was her title misspelled but her story had been substantially altered. She writes:

Let’s see: They turned a non-gendered character into a boy, they named the best friend, they created a memory for the main character about animal abuse. They added a suggestion of rape at the end… I feel like they ruined the suspense in the story.
- When publishing goes wrong…Starring Undead Press

After bringing this to the publisher's attention (Anthony Giangregorio) this is what he had to say:

wow, i truly cant believe that e,mail. you go girl. this one one hell of a story about dealing with unstable writers
lets see.
on the contract, it clearly says publisher has the right to EDIT work. you signed it. are you saying you are a dishonest and immoral person and will now try to deny you signed the contract? well i have a copy right here and as for the story. the editor had a hard time with it, it was very rough and he did alot to make it readable. despite what you think, your writing has a long way to go before its worthy of being printed professionally. we did what we had to do to make the story printable. you should be thankful, not complaining. ah, the ungrateful writer, gotta love it the contract also says any disagreements you have about the contract must be filed legally in Massachusetts and when you lose, you must pay all court costs. so, we are done here. any more correspondences from you must be from your lawyer. i will then send any of those letters to my lawyer and they can hash it out as i dont waste my time arguing with writers over legalities. thats what lawyers are for. you are so funny. thanks for this email, it truly made my day.
- When publishing goes wrong…Starring Undead Press

I don't know where to begin, this reply lacks any sort of professionalism, any sort of respect for the writer. But that isn't the worst of it. This is from the folks over at Writer Beware:

Ms. DeGeit's bad experience with Mr. Giangregorio, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be an isolated incident. Similar complaints are appearing in her comments thread, and other writers have reported the same kinds of problems with Undead Press and other publishing ventures run by Giangregorio--who, among other exploits, has apparently published and sold several unauthorized sequels to George Romero's Dawn of the Dead.
- Editing Clauses in Publishing Contracts: How to Protect Yourself

PG, from The Passive Voice Blog, is a contract lawyer who specializes in contracts between writers and publishers. Here's what he has to say:

PG will add one more piece of general advice concerning all types of agreements: Don’t do deals with crooks or jerks.

Even with the best contract in the world, if the people on the other side of the agreement are crooks or jerks, you’re going to have a difficult time. On more than one occasion, PG has told a client something like, “With some work, I can probably get your contract whipped into shape, but this guy is still going to drive you crazy and figure out some way to steal from you.”

PG has read enough contracts so he sometimes picks up hints of jerkiness in the way the contracts are worded or assembled.

He can think of one contract from a romance publisher that included all sorts of short clauses about minor items he doesn’t usually see in publishing contracts. The net impression for PG was that the owner of the publisher was a control freak who was going to tell the author exactly how every little thing would be and expected no back talk. The answer to any question or objection by the author would be, “I’m the publisher and you’re not.”
- Editing Clauses in Publishing Contracts

I think that Kris Rusch's advice about reading a contract line by line is terrific. Keeping in mind, of course, that taking someone to court can be an expensive and time consuming ordeal even if you know the other party clearly broke the contract and you're sure to win.


Further reading:
- Unconscionability


"Writer Beware: Undead Press & Editing Clauses," copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.

Nathan Bransford On Self Publishing

Nathan Bransford writes:

There is no "us" vs. "them." Traditional vs. self-publishing is a false dichotomy. It's an illusion created by people who either have let their frustrations get the best of them or are trying to sell you something. We're all writers trying to figure out the best way to get our books to readers. We're all on the same team.

No, the traditional publishing industry is not a hive of retrograde monsters out to steal and eat your newborn children. No, self-publishing is not a gang of unwashed crap artists trying to poison the literary well forever.

Publishing is a spectrum of choice, from traditional publishers who pay you, will handle most things for you and assume all risk in exchange for certain rights to your book, to self-publishing where you handle everything yourself, pay your own way, and adopt your own risk. And there's a whole lot more choice in between those two poles.

What's the right way? There is no right way.

Read the rest of Mr. Bransford's post here: Traditional vs. Self-publishing is a False Dichotomy

I woke this morning, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and trundled over to Dean Wesley Smith's blog where he raved about the fantastic post former agent Nathan Bransford wrote (Holy Smokes, Batman. I Agree With Nathan Bransford). And (as always!) he was right, it was a fantastic post.

In the past couple of months the flood gates have burst and record numbers of traditionally published writers have self-published their work. We're also seeing indie authors, even wildly successful indie authors, choosing NOT to go with one of the Big-6 publishers.

For instance, Hugh Howey, author of the runaway bestseller Wool, chose to continue to self-publish in the US and only sold Random House UK his overseas writes. Howey writes:

Now, this is still new enough to me to leave me in a daze simply from typing the words, but it gets even better: The same book--self-published, mind you--has been picked up by Random House in the UK for a major hardback release. And while domestic publishers have made offers that would have had me swooning mere months ago, I have chosen to remain independent here in the States.

I currently enjoy the best of both worlds: The ability to write what I want and enjoy the generous royalties inherent with self-publishing domestically, while also working with a major publisher overseas to hone my craft and produce the best physical books possible. Because of this avalanche of good news, I've been blessed by IndieReader to come here today and thank you all for turning what once was a fanciful dream into a mind-numbing reality. Yeah, I'm thanking you.

Hopefully Hugh Howey's success is only the tip of a very large iceberg.

Related articles:
- Hugh Howey Writes About The Phenomenal Success Of Wool


"Nathan Bransford On Self Publishing," copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.

Difficult Directors

Werner Herzog

I'm doing research for a short story. One of my characters is a persnickety director and since I know little to nothing about directors, persnickety or otherwise, I googled "difficult directors" and came across this article: Top 10 Craziest Directors. It's quite entertaining.

For instance, did you know that Akira Kurosawa, one of the most influential artists of the 20th century (Seven Samurai, Rashomon, Ikiru, The Hidden Fortress),

... was known as a stern taskmaster and a devoted perfectionist. His nickname was “Tenno,” which is Japanese for “Emperor,” reflecting his dictatorial control and command over his projects. There are many stories about the lengths that Kurosawa would go to in order to get the perfect shot. For a scene in Rashomon where there was a great rainstorm, he had water mixed with ink sprayed from fire trucks onto the set so that it would show up on the camera lenses. In Throne of Blood (1957), a Japanese retelling of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Kurosawa didn’t use fake arrows when the main character is executed by a firing squad of archers. He literally had professional archers fire at the main character as he ran around trying to dodge them. At any moment he could have easily been killed [emphasis mine].

Really!!?? Firing real arrows at actors during a scene to increase authenticity. The insurance company must have had kittens, not to mention the actors.

Oh, and here's a tidbit about Orson Welles and Citizen Kane:

[H]e [William Randolph Hearst] almost succeeded in completely suppressing the film [Citizen Kane]. It is said that if it wasn’t for Hearst, Citizen Kane probably would have won all eight of its Academy Award nominations, including Best Film, Best Director, and Best Actor. Instead, Hearst’s opposition was successful enough that it basically established Welles as an enfant terrible, making it almost impossible for him to get his films financed within the United States.

In any case, Top 10 Craziest Directors, is definitely educational and entertaining. 

Okay, enough procrastinating, back to it. #amwriting

Cheers.

Photo credit: Top 10 Craziest Directors

Hugh Howey Writes About The Phenomenal Success Of Wool

Everywhere I turn I read about the phenomenal success of Wool, an indie published series which has garnered unprecedented sales in the very short time since its release. Wool has been picked up by Random House in the UK and Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator) will be directing an upcoming blockbuster movie made by 20th Century Fox.

I don't know about you, but even when I'm daydreaming about hitting it big, I don't dream about hitting it this big. In a recent article for PW, Hugh Howey writes about his amazing success.

[A]n actual deal seemed a long way off, a fanciful dream. Who was I? A few months ago, I worked part time in the university bookstore, dusting the shelves and tackling shoplifters to pay the bills. How could someone like that, who spent his mornings and lunch breaks pecking away at his keyboard ever get mentioned in a press release along the likes of Scott and Zaillian?

Word of mouth, is how. Which is also the reason I've been able to quit that day job and write full-time. And it's why the film rights for that little story I wrote now lie in the hands of Hollywood giants.

Now, this is still new enough to me to leave me in a daze simply from typing the words, but it gets even better: The same book--self-published, mind you--has been picked up by Random House in the UK for a major hardback release. And while domestic publishers have made offers that would have had me swooning mere months ago, I have chosen to remain independent here in the States.

. . . .

My inbox lately has become sprinkled with missives from other independent writers asking me for any advice I might have. So I tell them what you have taught me: Please the reader. Write your best works for them; make those works affordable; interact with your fans; and take their feedback to heart. Without a single dime spent in advertising, a short story I wrote and didn't even work to promote climbed to the top of the Amazon charts. It drew the attention of Hollywood. It landed me an agent and half a dozen foreign book deals. All because of word of mouth. Because I happened to please you, and you told someone else, and they spread the word further.

The first WOOL story came out in July of last year. At just over 12,000 words, it qualified as a novelette, and not much more. I forgot about the story until it began garnering a slew of positive reviews that could muster only a single complaint among them: Where was the rest? They wanted more.

So I began writing more. I released the rest of the story in installments, something I'd always wanted to try, and I enjoyed the quick turnaround and the immediate feedback from readers. The entries grew as the series went along, until the fifth and final WOOL story was the length of a short novel. Once the tale was complete, I collected the five books into an Omnibus, which was when it began to really take off.

Read more here: How My Self-Published Book 'Wool' Became A Hot Movie Property

Further Reading:
- Wool: Indie bestseller to be made into blockbuster movie
- Ridley Scott’s Next Project Is Wool
- 20th Century Fox Takes Wool

Books:
- Wool

"Hugh Howey Writes About The Phenomenal Success Of Wool," copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.

Auxiliary Rights: To Keep or Not To Keep?

In her Thursday blog post Kris Rusch talks about when to be DIY and when not to be. If I've retained the audio writes to my book, I could record an audio version of it myself or I could hire someone to do it for me, perhaps through a place like audible.com (I would either pay the voice artist a flat fee or a percentage of whatever royalties I make on the audiobook).

Here is the checklist Kris Rusch uses to decide whether to seek help with an auxiliary rights project or whether to go it alone:

A. What are the contract terms?

B. When does the license expire?

C. When will I realistically get to this project?

D. Can this company do things that I cannot do?

E. Is this company asking too much in rights, limitations of my ability to write, or in lost revenue to negate the benefits of doing business with this company?

F. Is there a way out of the deal if the company does not keep up its side of the bargain? (So many publishing contracts are one-sided and only favor the publisher.)

G. Will I regret this decision in the morning? (In other words, don’t get pressured into accepting; any time anyone pressures you, you should walk away.)

H. Who does this deal benefit the most? Me? My agent? The publisher? If the answer is the agent or the publisher, then run. If the answer is two-fold—it benefits me and the publisher equally—then the deal is fine. (Not three-fold; remember, agents work for you, and should get paid from your end of the deal. They should never make more money on a deal than you do—although that often happens in both foreign rights deals and in Hollywood deals.)

If you like the offer and it benefits you for where you are right now, then take the deal. If you feel any qualms, do not, and wait for the time when you can do whatever it is yourself—or wait until you get a better offer.
The Business Rusch: Time and the Writer

Making an audio book is something I've been interested in for a while; it would be great to attend Kris and Dean's Audio Workshop in November. Kris used to train radio announcers how to read and speak and they'll also cover the technical aspects of recording. For more information, click here: Kris Rusch and Dean Wesley Smith, Workshops. You'll have to scroll down the page a bit.

Related Reading:
- Milton Bagby talks about recording an audiobook

Photo credit: AVS Audio Editor

"Auxiliary Rights: To Keep or Not To Keep?" copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.

Short Story: A Night In The Country, Part 3

This post has been removed.

Michael J. Sullivan On The Dark Art Of Naming

For myself, there is nothing quite so agonizing as trying to name my characters. I think this is partly due to my conviction that I must give each of them a name which will illuminate some particular aspect of their personality. Whenever I re-read the Harry Potter books, I'm struck by how good Rowling was at this.

I love reading about how other writers do things, especially things I find difficult. This morning I came across a post in which Michael J. Sullivan shares how he creates name.

I collect names.

Much like a butterfly hunter, or perhaps more accurately, a bird watcher—whenever I spot a name I like, I pin it into a list I keep. Street signs are a great source of fun names. There are three streets near me called, Niblick, Mashie, and Follin. I just couldn’t resist thinking how these just sound like goblin names. Turns out they are golf terms—old names for clubs, I believe.

I also own a very old encyclopedia of proper names, which long ago I went through A-Z looking for any names I didn’t recognize that I thought were cool. This is how I came across Dahlgren, and Persepolis, which I changed to Percepliquis, because I thought it sounded better. I did this decades ago and forgot about it. Now when I see a name of something from my series in the real world I think—wow, someone named a city after my novels! At this point I’ve lost track what words I made up, which I modified and which I stole, but I keep a list—three lists actually, and they are: Male Names, Female Names, Names of Places and Things. This is where I dump all my gathered words. Then as I am writing and a character is spontaneously made, as sometimes happens, I just run down the list until I find a name that suits the character.

How do I do that?

Ah, now this is a trickier question ...

Read the rest of Michael Sullivan's enlightening post here: Names


"Michael J. Sullivan On The Dark Art Of Naming," copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.

Elizabeth S. Craig's Tips For Developing A Story Idea

Ask yourself ...

What works best for your genra?
First of all, we have to know our genre. We should be a fan of our genre and read a lot of it. What story elements satisfy us most when we read our favorite genre? Do we like more action, more humor, really strong characters, flawed main characters, lots of internal conflict?

What do our readers like? 
This is where I read over my Word file where I’ve compiled both complaints and compliments for my past books. I provide more of what was successful (particular characters, particular situations, etc.) and less of what readers disliked or complained about in reviews.

Is this a big enough idea that you can develop it for at least 75,000 words? 
Can this idea carry a full-length plot?

Is the plot too derivative? 
If it’s too much like a hundred other books in your genre, what fresh take can you give it? Can you provide your character with a unique voice? Think of some fresh spin on the old plot? 

How much trouble/tension/conflict can your story engender? 
Can you think of ways to add more? Will there be enough natural conflict to keep a fast pace?
Specific to mysteries:
For me it all starts with the victim—they’re the catalyst for everything. Why would someone want to kill this person?

Why would my sleuth (I’ve got an amateur, so this is an important question for me that wouldn’t be if you’re writing a police procedural or private eye story) get involved in this murder?

Who are the suspects? 
This question ties in very closely to the victim question since these are the characters who wanted to kill the victim. But this is where I decide if they’re male or female and how they all knew the victim.

What do these people have to hide? 
What are they trying to cover up?

What different kinds of motives could these suspects have? Again, this one ties into the victim question, but I actually list the motives out. My editors aren’t real crazy about having three different people who all wanted to seek revenge on the victim, for instance. Better to have a variety of motives: personal gain, jealousy, ambition, revenge, rage, etc. 

How is the victim going to die? 
Who discovers the body? Who seems to have an alibi? Motive/means/opportunity.

Who is my second victim? 
How does this change the investigation?

Who did it? 
(And I do change this a lot. But for the purpose of handing in a proposal, I name a killer in the outline. Sometimes I’m asked to change the murderer…I changed it by editor request for the book I just finished May 1.)

And really, that’s all I need to know for this proposal/outline. And it’s all I need to know to write the book.

I always like getting writing tips from my favorite authors. Read her entire article here: Developing a Story Idea

More on Amazon Select: Is exclusivity worth it?

I know I've written quite a bit about Amazon Select recently, but I've been looking for good information on it for some time, information from other indie authors, and it seems to be coming in a flood.

Today Joe Konrath had this to say about Amazon Select:

I've lost some of my faith in the Kindle Select program since it originated, and as a result I've opted my titles out. Select requires exclusivity, and I found I was making more money via Smashwords, Kobo, B&N, Overdrive, Sony, and Apple than I was through Select lends.

The other advantage of Select--being able to make your ebook free--used to result in a nice bounce from the free list to the paid list. Lately, the bounce isn't nearly as dramatic.

Two weeks ago Ann Voss Peterson made her thriller ebook Pushed Too Far free for a week. She gave away 70,000 copies--which is impressive, even beating many of the giveaways Blake Crouch and I had done (giveaways that got us in the Top 100 paid list and made us lots of money.)

Ann never hit the Top 100 paid. She's currently at #158. This is great, and she's thrilled, but she's only allowed to do this once every 90 days, and I don't believe the benefit corresponds to the loss of income from the other retailers.

If you do decide to make your ebook free, go all in. Use the 5 full days allotted, contact as many websites as you can find who announce freebies, and enlist everyone you know to help you spread the word.

Read the rest of Joe's comments here: Guest Post by Robert Gregory Browne, in the "Joe sez" section. He follows these remarks with fabulous advice for indie authors.

I'm paraphrasing.

- Get as many books as you can up for sale as quickly as you can. Your writing is the best advertising you could have.

- Don't be afraid to experiment. Experiment with pricing, covers, promotions, and share your knowledge with your peers.

- Bundle. For example, sell your short stories as stand-alones, then group them into an anthology and sell that. Do the same with your books, especially books in a series. "This increases shelf space without writing more."

- Forget about advertizing and marketing. It's not worth it.

- Keep your fingers on the pulse of the industry. Joe recommends subscribing to:

Publishers Lunch
PW Daily
Passive Guy
Kris Rusch
Dean Wesley Smith
David Gaughran
Bob Mayer
Mike Stackpole
Mike Shatzkin

- As Neil Gaiman recently said, "Walk toward your mountain." In other words, figure out what you want to do and do it. Of every decision ask yourself: does this take me closer to, or father away from, what I want to do. Then, and this is the tough part, believe in yourself and ignore those who ridicule you.

- As Joe put it, "The world needs heroes. Be one." Pass along what you've learnt and encourage others the way you would have liked to have been encouraged when you were where they are.

That's it! Reading the list over, it seems like I could title it, "Joe's Commandments for the indie writer".

Before I end this article, I want to give you a link to an article on KDP Select by the above mentioned David Gaughran. It explains, among other things, the nuts and bolts of KDP select and why Amazon's bestseller lists are so important to indie authors. Read it here: Amazon & The Importance of Popularity

Related Articles:
Changes in Amazon's Algorithm: An Update
Amazon's Ranking Algorithm Has Changed: what this means for indie authors
Self Publishing on Amazon: Kindle Direct Publishing


"More on Amazon Select: Is exclusivity worth it?," copyright© 2012 by Karen Woodward.